If you've ever been in a car accident, you know that no one is
ever at fault.  Whether the guilty party is another driver, a seemingly
stationary telephone pole, or one of those pesky pedestrians, no driver
since Henry Ford has ever admitted fault-- especially on an insurance
claim.  The following explanations were taken from actual insurance
company forms and published in the "Toronto Sun."

*Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
don't have.

*The other car collided w/ mine w/out giving warning of its intentions.

*The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

*I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

*A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

*A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

*The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before
I hit him.

*In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

*I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
headed over the embankment.

*I had been driving for 40 yrs. when I fell asleep at the wheel and had
an accident.

*To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I hit the pedestrian.

*My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

*An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

*I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat I found
that I had a fractured skull.

*I thought my window was down but I found out it was up when I put my
head through it.

*I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old man as he bounced off the roof of my
car.

*The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car w/ a
big mouth.

*I was thrown from the car as I left the road.  I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.

*The telephone was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out of its
way when it struck the front end.

*I was on my way to the doctor w/ rear-end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

*I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle.
The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation w/
injuries.

"Toronto Sun"  1977