DID YOU KNOW????? Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village" The average ear of corn has eight-hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe The maximum weight for a golf ball is 1.62 oz Charlie Brown's father was a barber Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously Of the six men who made up the Three Stooges, three of them were real brothers (Moe, Curly and Shemp.) Ingrown toenails are hereditary In Mel Brooks' 'Silent Movie,' mime Marcel Marceau is the only person who has a speaking role Pulp Fiction cost $8 million to make - $5 million going to actors' salaries A full seven percent of the entire Irish barley crop goes to the production of Guinness beer Deborah Winger did the voice of E.T. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers Betsy Ross was born with a fully formed set of teeth Bob Dylan's real name is Robert Zimmerman. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge A dime has 118 ridges around the edge The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth.Then the frog uses it's forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again. Bingo is the name of the dog on the Cracker Jack box Charles de Gaulle's final words were, "It hurts." The Beatles song "Dear Prudence" was written about Mia Farrow's sister, Prudence, when she wouldn't come out and play with Mia and the Beatles at a religious retreat in India Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world Kelsey Grammar sings and plays the piano for the theme song of Fraiser The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti. Alexander the Great was an epileptic The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz." Horses cannot vomit. Rabbits cannot vomit A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister Hugh "Ward Cleaver" Beaumont was an ordained minister The average garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head Certain frogs can be frozen solid then thawed, and continue living Dartboards are made out of horsehairs There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball Virgina Woolf wrote all her books standing The only planet without a ring is earth Wayne's World was filmed in two weeks (I can believe that) A group of unicorns is called a blessing ~~~~~~~~~~ REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE MALE! Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Movie nudity is virtually always female. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. Your toilet queues are 80% shorter. You can open all your own jars. Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying. All your orgasms are real. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. Your last name stays put. You can leave the hotel bed unmade. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. You don't have to shave below your neck. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices. You can write your name in the snow. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color. Chocolate is just another snack. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Flowers fix everything. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me". The world is your urinal. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. One mood, all the time You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy. You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing. Grey hair and wrinkles only add character. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. You don't mooch off others' desserts. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. The remote control is yours and yours alone. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it." If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?" THINGS THAT SUCK ABOUT BEING A GUY The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000. External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs. Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, You're not allowed to cry. Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours. You have to wear ties. You can't flirt your way out of a jam. "Women and children first." ----------------------------------------------------------- Through the center of Czechoslovakia there's a train speeding along. In one compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Russian soldier, and a Czech dissident. Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel. It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is holding the side of his face, and the Czech dissident is grinning his face off. The old matronly woman thinks : "Now that's a fine young woman, the Russian soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!" The young woman is thinking : "Now that's a strange Russian soldier, he'd rather kiss that old hag than me." The Russian soldier is thinking : "Now that's a smart Czech, he steal the kiss and I get slapped." And the Czech dissident is thinking : "Gee I'm smart! We go through the tunnel, I kiss the back of my hand and get away with slapping a Russian soldier." *--------------* Subject: Joke-Clean : An American In China An American received a fax from the brother of his good friend in China saying that he had had a serious accident and was in the hospital. The American immediately flew to Beijing to be by his friend's side at his time of need. As he was standing next to his bed, the Chinese said in a very excited voice "CHU CHEE CHEN ...... CHU CHEE CHEN .... CHU CHEE CHEN" and finally passed away. Very puzzled by his friend's final words he went to the Brother and asked,what does CHU CHEE CHEN (whatever)means. With tears in his eyes, the brother replied:- "'He was saying : Take your foot off the oxygen hose!'" ------------------------------------------------------------ Subject: Joke-Clean. Foul mouthed doppleganger. Not seen this one on the list before so cop for this me owd maties. A brilliant genetic engineer made an exact duplicate of himself in his laboratory, there was only one defect with this identical doppleganger and that was that every time he said anything it was totally obscene. His language was disgusting (what me Mum would call fungeing and cungeing) evry other word was a swear word and it was driving the Professor to distraction. So one day he got so fed up with his identical double's foul mouthed diatribe that he picked him up and bodily threw him out of the window. This was rather sad because his lab just happened to be 22 stories above ground level and his double made rather a mess upon impact. Any was the police came and investigated the incident and the professor got arrested and was charged with making an obscene clone fall. !!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------ Subject: Joke:CLEAN Hunter In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finaly, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! please give this bear some religion!" The sky darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Sunddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive...." ------------------------------ Subject: JOKE-CLEAN:3 phases How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married? LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care. -- Subject: JOKE-CLEAN:AD FOR SALE: Special deal on tens of thousands of Iraqi rifles. Never been fired - only dropped once...