Malaysia  |
Kuala Lumpur | Taman Negara |
7-10th December '05 Malaysia (Melakka & Kuala Lumpur)
Notes extracted from a Jessica email (copyrighted ;-)
CHAPTER TWO - WHERE JESSICA HAS LEFT THE COUNTRY
So anyway, our mini-breaks. Well, the first was up to KL. You can go by bus, which all went swimmingly, very comfortable and efficient, except that there are no loos on the bus AND once you cross the border the loos are scary and squatty AND they don't provide loo-paper!! Kleenex quickly became my bestest buddy…but anyway, arrived unscathed in Melaka, to break up the journey. Melaka is a cool town with a mixture of Malay, Portuguese & Dutch influences, since the Europeans seemed to spend a lot of time battling over who could control. The replica of the Sultan's Palace is impressive, although you have to leave your shoes outside and I burned my feet walking to it….We also walked around the old city walls and through the remains of a church filled with tombstones written in olde olde Dutch. Managed to find about a gazillion mosques and temples too, which is when Dean made the most progress with Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince ;-) It was a lovely little town though, attractive, well ordered, clean and not too busy. A COMPLETE contrast to KL!!!
CHAPTER THREE - WHERE WE MAKE IT TO KL AND ARE A LITTLE TAKEN ABACK BY IT
To start with, the bus dumps you off at the roadside, well, near the roadside anyway, of course, there's still space for the enormous numbers of lunatic moped riders to get between the bus and pavement. Splat the tourist appears to be a popular national sport actually, I believe they've recommended it for an Olympic spot (London 2012).
We made our way, well, fought our way to the hotel in China Town, being offered a myriad fake Rolexes, handbags, DVDs & t-shorts along the way, I was in a pretty cheesed off mood when we arrived, but the hotel was clean & comfortable and quiet, so we dumped our stuff & headed out for a beer at a nearby bar. The crowds were still manic, but at least they were easier to manipulate without our bags, & we stood out less as potential suckers ;-) A beer certainly helped me to get into the KL-swing of things - much easier to watch the world go by than to try and go with it. Or worse, against it!!
After paying the bill, we vowed to find a different bar the next night, and headed back.
Thursday brought a trip to the gardens, via the Moorish train-station and the relocated tourist office. They sure now how to hide these things, but they were very helpful when we arrived, & set us right on our way.
We visited the world's largest free-fly aviary, the orchid garden, parliament (looks a bit like Nelson Mandela House), Independence Square, where the Malay flag was first hoisted when the Brits were kicked out, the courts of justice (very impressive, also Moorish architecture, although the sheer size of the place made my hold my bag a little tigher & wish I had a kevlar vest). A few mosques & temples & a little Harry Potter & off to the Menara Kuala Lumpur (KL Tower). I'm not a big fan of huge buildings to be honest, mans phalic expression of his own paranoia of his insignificance if you ask me, but we went up at sunset, so the views were pretty if you can peer through the smog. The history is interesting too, or would be if I could retain it all in my tiny mind…
CHAPTER FOUR - WHERE WE LEAVE THE SMOG BEHIND & HEAD TO SOME COOL CAVES
The Batu Caves are just outside KL, only RM 2 (about 50 cents / 30p) on the bus & very cool! It's a Hindu shrine, and you walk the 200-odd to the top to a cave that you could fit Westminster Abbey into. There are lots of mini-shrines & alters all the way round, and you can take an audio guide telling you all the stories of Hinduism, about the different Gods & Godesses and their little barnies & foibles. It's also crawling with monkeys, they're dead cheeky little chappies, but we disappointed by not having a stash of nuts or bananas. There are also 2 secondary caves you can visit, and the smallest is totally trippy, completely painted in day-glo paint, I think it should be on Goa or something, but all the paintings & groovy groovy statues are telling Hindu stories. A bit like the Magic Roundabout, but with religion!
In the afternoon went back to KL for a few more temples & stuff & found a bargain bar for the evening.
CHAPTER FIVE - WHERE WE DISCOVER SELANGOR IS THE MOST POINTLESS PLACE ON THE PLANET AFTER WHITTLESEY
It took forever on the bus to get there, I think it's the bus that took Mary & Joseph back to Bethlehem, it was so old. If we'd encountered a hill, we’d have been doomed. Anyway, hundreds of years later & we made it to the crappy, nothingy town that is Selangor. Unfortunately, Selangor town & Selangor county are not quite the same….still we found a nice hill to climb with a wonderful view over unspoilt, lush rainforest, with another smattering of monkeys, and this time we could feed them, and pat them & they have cutie little soft hands!! However, the threat of a storm drove us back to the bus station, where the bus which brought down the 10 Commandments juddered us back to uncivilisation. Did a bit more mosque-and-templing (or reading of HP depending on your p-reference)….
CHAPTER SIX – WHERE WE HEAD FOR PASTURES NOT YET RAZED TO MAKE WAY FOR A McDONALDS SOYA BEAN FARM….
So there’s a place called Forest Research Institute of Malaysia (in Selangor the county…) where you can do a brilliant walk along what are basically extension ladders with 6 foot board across them suspended from the rainforest canopy. It was awesome, although sadly you can still see the grime of KL from the top. Great looking the other way though, where you see nothing but rainforest. It’s an amazing view, really wonderful and unbelievable to think that such a stunning piece of undestroyed rainforest should exist so close to the heart of industrialized hell. Sadly, the other visitors seemed less in awe, and the fact that you can take some of the tracks on a moped spoiled the atmosphere somewhat, but it was a taster for Taman Negara (Rainforest National Park in the centre of Malaysia) and I was pleased we made it.
CHAPTER SEVEN – WHERE LEAVING THE CITY PROVES AS TAXING AS ARRIVING
So our bus is booked for 15.30. Except it’s full. Picture this ladies & gentlemen. About 2 gazillion people waiting for 4 billion busses, each one overbooked, in the middle of a major junction where busses don’t have to switch off their engines while they idle at the middle-of-the-road-side. It’s chaos and dirty and noisy, and we don’t speak Malay, and we’re looking at 5 hours of travel, and it’s a school. You can imagine the joy of Jessica. However, a slightly strained smile & a little persistence, & we made it from the proffered 6pm bus to the 4pm. Thank God. Because the entire Asian population was trying to cross the border when we arrived….from arriving at JB (the crossing point to Singapore, not the French ICE chappie) to getting home, approximately 10 kms I would guess, took 3 hours….so we learned not to cross last thing on a Sunday, or to queue for a cab at the checkpoint….an eventful end to our trip, but a great trip nonetheless!! And our first venture across the causeway!
